Contrary to popular belief, self love has real benefits for health and happiness. Explore 5 science-backed benefits of self-compassion and 15 ways to get started.
For many, the topic of self-love can feel... indulgent. After all, with a million and one things to get done throughout the day, who has time to focus on just "feeling good"? And let's be honest: when influencers preach "just love yourself more" after posting their thousandth perfectly curated content, it's enough to make anyone roll their eyes.
But before dismissing the self-love journey entirely, consider how it feels when someone shows you unconditional love and support. A partner's warm embrace after a tough day; a friend's unwavering belief when you're doubting yourself — these moments are deeply comforting, grounding, and meaningful. Yet, we rarely treat ourselves with the same kindness we wish others would show us…
The disconnect between how we like to be treated and how we treat ourselves is unfortunately striking. A recent global study by The Body Shop involving over 22,000 people across 21 countries found that more than half of women experience more self-doubt than self-love, and over 60% wish they had more respect for themselves.1
The truth: self-love isn't just about feeling good - it's a powerful practice that can enhance your mental health, physical wellbeing, and overall quality of life. In this article, we'll explore the science behind why self-love matters, plus 15 practical ways to begin showing yourself more self-compassion this year.
What is self-love?
Merriam-Webster defines self-love as "an appreciation of one's own worth or virtue" and "proper regard for and attention to one's own happiness or wellbeing." 2 According to Psychology Today, "self-love entails accepting yourself wholeheartedly, treating yourself with kindness and respect, and prioritizing your physical and emotional health." 3
One of the most important parts of self-love: it’s more than just a feeling — it's action. It's the intentional practice of acting in ways that honor your wellbeing and worth, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And it covers everything from basic acts of self-care (quality sleep, nutrition, exercise) to personally fulfilling pursuits (creative expression, learning new skills).
But does self love do anything other than make you "feel good?" According to the research: yes. Let's dig into it.
5 Science-backed benefits of self-love
The value of self-love isn't theoretical. Research consistently shows how we treat ourselves affects everything from mental resilience to physical health to healthy relationships. The need for more self-love is clear: with so many women struggling with self-esteem and mental health, self-love is a strong ally in many ways.
#1 More motivation for goal achievement
Contrary to the belief that feeling good zaps us of our ambition and motivation, research suggests self-compassion actually enhances motivation and goal attainment. One review of the research found that people who show more self-compassion are: 4
- Less likely to berate themselves if they fail
- More able to admit mistakes
- More likely to take on new challenges
- Adjust unproductive behaviors and habits
One study exploring self-compassion's effects in a classroom setting revealed it was positively linked with learning for the goal of mastery. It was also negatively linked to performance goals, meaning students were more motivated by the intrinsic desire to learn than by recognition.5
#2 Greater resilience
The Body Shop study also revealed a connection between resilience and self-love — the higher a person's level of self-love, the faster they recovered from challenging times.1 Studies also show that people with higher levels of self-love bounce back more quickly from setbacks and adapt better to life's challenges. They're more likely to view difficulties as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles.6
#3 Stronger and healthier relationships
Loving yourself can also help you connect more deeply with others, with research suggesting that those who practice self-love may be better at setting boundaries. They're also more likely to report feeling fulfilled in their relationships, potentially because they're better equipped to recognize and maintain healthy connections.3
#4 Improved physical health
When we approach self-care from a place of love rather than criticism, we make different choices for ourselves. Instead of punishing ourselves with restrictive diets or grueling workouts, we're more likely to see the same healthy food and physical activity choices as enjoyable forms of self-nourishment to look forward to - not a punishment we want to avoid. Shame can offer short-term motivation, but often ends up leading to more stress and chronic stress-related conditions over the long run.
#5 Better mental wellbeing
Studies have found that higher levels of self-love correlate with lower rates of anxiety and depression. For example, a meta-analysis of several studies found that practicing self-compassion significantly alleviated symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress across several populations. 7
This is particularly important given that research has found as many as 1 in 3 women struggle with anxiety at some point in their lives. 8
What does self-love look like? (+15 ways to get started)
Self-love isn't a one-size-fits-all practice. It's any activity that brings you a deep sense of inner peace, fulfillment, happiness, accomplishment, joy, self-recognition, or expression. It's entirely personal to you and includes nourishing your whole self – body, mind, and soul. Here are a few options to inspire you as you build your self-love toolbox.
5 Ways to nourish your body
- Enjoy a relaxing bubble bath to soothe muscles and mind
- Choose foods that make your body feel energized and nourished
- Take a rejuvenating 30+ minute walk in nature, breathing in fresh air
- Practice gentle stretching, focusing on deep breaths and body awareness
- Share a long hug with someone you love (physical touch releases oxytocin, nature's stress reliever)
5 Ways to nourish your mind
- Set aside quiet time for reflection and mental rest
- Journal your thoughts without judgment or editing
- Solve a puzzle or brainteaser to stimulate mental agility
- Dedicate 20+ minutes to that book you've been meaning to read
- Begin noticing your inner dialogue and replacing negative self-talk, negative thoughts, and harsh criticism with balanced accountability
5 Ways to nourish your soul
- Learn something new just for the joy of it
- Express yourself through art, music, or creative projects
- Spend quality time connecting with someone who fills your cup
- Practice gratitude by listing three things you're thankful for daily
- Give yourself permission to have an "unproductive" day and do nothing!
Not sure where to start?
That's completely normal. What we need changes daily, so check in with yourself regularly. One day, you might feel pulled towards meditation and a warm bath; another, toward adventure and exploration. There's no wrong answer – the key is tuning in to what resonates with you in the moment.
The bottom line
Self-love isn't selfish. It's essential. Whether celebrating a victory or navigating a challenge, treating yourself with kindness and respect isn't just nice to have – it's a fundamental practice that impacts every aspect of your wellbeing. Start small, be patient with yourself, and remember that, like any other skill, self-love grows stronger with practice.
References:
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Shop, T. B. (n.d.). Self Love Crisis: 1 in 2 Women Worldwide feel more Self-doubt than Self-love. Www.newswire.ca. https://www.newswire.ca/news-releases/self-love-crisis-1-in-2-women-worldwide-feel-more-self-doubt-than-self-love-809292028.html
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Definition of SELF-LOVE. (2020). Merriam-Webster.com. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/self-love
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Martin, S. (2023, July 7). The Power of Self-Love | Psychology Today. Www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202306/the-power-of-self-love
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Neff, K. D. (2009). The role of self-compassion in development: A healthier way to relate to oneself. Human Development, 52(4), 211–214. https://doi.org/10.1159/000215071
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Neff, K. D., Hsieh, Y.-P., & Dejitterat, K. (2005). Self-compassion, Achievement Goals, and Coping with Academic Failure. Self and Identity, 4(3), 263–287. https://doi.org/10.1080/13576500444000317
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Homan, K. J., & Sirois, F. M. (2017). Self-compassion and physical health: Exploring the roles of perceived stress and health-promoting behaviors. Health Psychology Open, 4(2), 205510291772954. https://doi.org/10.1177/2055102917729542
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Han, A., & Tae Hui Kim. (2023). Effects of Self-Compassion Interventions on Reducing Depressive Symptoms, Anxiety, and Stress: A Meta-Analysis. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-023-02148-x
- McLean, C. P., Asnaani, A., Litz, B. T., & Hofmann, S. G. (2011). Gender differences in anxiety disorders: Prevalence, course of illness, comorbidity and burden of illness. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 45(8), 1027–1035. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2011.03.006
